Have you ever wonder why we like people who are “similar” to us? What is it about people who mirror us (like-minded) that we like so much?

The cynical part of me wants to believe that our reflection is what we are attracted to. We are more selfish than we can admit. Some already believe we decide on who we date or marry based on the qualities we like from our parents. But does that also extend to qualities we like about ourselves?

Lets talk friendships. Is it possible we decide on friendships based on qualities we like about ourselves? It’s a scary thought, I know, or at least it is for me. It makes me feel extremely self-centered. But does it hold true? Is everyone we choose to welcome into our life a simple reflection of us? Do we not like people for their individuality – for who they genuinely are?

Liking others who are “like us” is great for the start of any relationship because it helps build rapport and a positive momentum, but it may not be a good idea for long-term relationships. Haven’t you come to a point in a relationship in which hanging out with someone who is too similar to you is simply boring? I feel there’s a need for diversity of thought, likes and experiences. And the reason we fail so much at relationships in general is because we habitually seek to make connections with like-minded people.

Can I challenge you to meet a stranger and make a conversation? Perhaps hire someone who is your complete opposite – skills wise? Or make a friend who contradicts your every though? Try it and let me know. Drop me a comment once you’ve given it a shot!

Does this strike a chord?

About these ads

4 responses to “Mirrors

  1. I agree but I think most people just prefer to speak with like minded people because we are living in a time where narcissism is rampant and encouraged. Most people can’t accept constructive criticism, do not accept conflicting thoughts or feelings – they just want to be told what they want to hear. My personality has always been “difficult” for most people because I don’t have much of a filter and I tell it like it is with little to no empathy for the other person. I believe I’m pretty easily misunderstood. It’s just taken me a long time to learn how to LISTEN.

    • Hello Anne,

      Thank you for your comment. I can relate to everything you said. Do you think you being misunderstood may have had something to do with a lack of proper communication from your part though? And what taught you “how to LISTEN?” in your opinion?


      ~ Daniel

  2. It’s easier to like someone who is like us because if you hang out with someone who is too different the connection won’t be there or the differences will become the downfall. I know that in life we hear that opposites attract. Though if your first relationships are your opposite and you get burned you go back to your safe zone or sometimes remain single.

    I’ve been reading a lot of philosophy lately and the Jungians would say that we are attracted to our similar compliment. In other words yin and yang. You should be attracted to the one who will most compliment you.

    I think it’s really up to the people not their personalities to keep it interesting. Do something crazy or something that you’ve never done once a week. Liven it up a bit.

  3. I had to have a lot of people hit me in the head with blunt objects…Kidding! I’m very stubborn so ABSOLUTELY it was lack of communication on my part. It took a loooong time but coaches and mentors had to help me realize that not everyone is like me – or grew up the same way as me. I grew up in a snotty area with snotty, privileged kids so I had no one else I could relate to. It hurt me in my adult life, trying to be a team leader without any skills or knowledge about PEOPLE. It was a harsh reality that just because I act a certain way – doesn’t mean everyone will respect me or respond to any direction. I always had good intentions but it wasn’t enough. I still struggle with it but I realize now that I am the problem. Not sometimes – but all the time. When there’s a problem – I have to look at myself as part of the equation and be accountable. To listen you have to hear what the other person is saying and truly speak to their thoughts and concerns – not just inject your own opinions.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s